I'm weak

Okay, I admit it, I'm weak. I am buckling down and renewing my subscription to Writer's Digest.

Why? Was it the "Awww don't give up, I made it and you can too" letter they sent with the last "don't forget to renew!" letter? Nope. Definitely not that. Was it a sudden win on the lottery? Nope. I wish. Money's still tight and I am whimpering about spending $26 on 6 issues of a magazine that used to be monthly.

So why am I renewing my subscription?... insanity I suppose. Security blanket maybe. I've been a subscriber to that magazine since I turned my sights to writing from wanting to be a camera operator in the movies or a special effects artist.

If you are outbid for back issues of Writer's Digest on eBay, chances are it's me filling in my back issues as expenses allow the splurging. I have copies that go back to I think the 1960's (that one was put away in a box when I moved my office downstairs and ain't been unpacked yet) and binders of issues in individual acrid free sleeves dating back to 1995. My magazines from the 1980's and earlier burned in a fire years ago.

So I suppose that's what it is. It is my writing security blanket and that justifies the cost more then the information it contains. It is getting to watch the magazine grow and evolve and shift itself from a small two tone non-glossy cover magazine half the physical height and width of today's magazine into what it is today and will become tomorrow. It is a security in knowing that as a writer I too can shift and change and take my writing from what it was in the past, to what it is today and then on to what it will be tomorrow. It is hopes and dreams and aspirations that I can succeed and that growth and change is inevitable. It is a security blanket in a maelstrom of rejection slips that I am sometimes too afraid of receiving no matter how bravely I face them when they come.

I suppose when you look at what Writer's Digest is beyond the physical, the price is not as bad as it looks on first sight. Huh?


Heir to Magic
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