How to catch a muse

You know, I've been thinking... prompted both by the picture of muses fluttering by the writer in my blog picture and by the lack of muses that are fluttering around near me lately. It is not that hard to catch a muse - it's the catching one alive that is difficult.

Standard muse catching is along the lines of:

• Sit quietly and watch for a small flicker of disturbance in the air that signifies the flutter of tiny wings. That is a muse.
  
• Ignore the area where you saw the muse, but covertly keep an eye on it to make sure that you know just where it is.
• Once the muse is sure that you are not a threat it will light on the edge of your desk. Use caution! They are going to be suspicious for a little while still and will fly off quickly if they think that you have noticed them. Just keep staring into space and acting like you have not noticed the little fellow. Have patience and wait for them to make the first move.
• After they have gained a little confidence that they have not been spotted they will slowly move closer to see what you are up to. Take care and do not startle them.
  
• When they seem relaxed and are looking at what you are doing carefully reach to the side and with as much casualness as possible pick up the largest book you can reach and slam it down on top of the muse.

This trick, while effective in catching the muses, seems to have very poor results when it comes to getting their help with writer's block. More research needs to be done on just why that is.